Hotel Maids: Assholes in Aprons

No, this isn't a story about Arnold Schwarzenegger or that French dude who mouth raped a maid...

This past weekend, my brother and I took a little trip to San Antonio, Texas for a concert and through some divine intervention, he was able to find a room at a 5-star hotel for a dirt cheap price.

So, of course we pounced at the chance and booked it immediately. The night we came back from the concert the two of us were ridiculously drunk and both passed out on each of our beds and awoke the next morning to knocking on the door.

"House keeping!" yelled the hotel maid from behind the door. English was clearly her second language.

I ripped the sheets off my head and looked at my brother who woke up at the same time as me. Both of us were whispering angrily at each other to tell the maid to leave.

"You tell her!"

"You tell her!"

It went on for about thirty seconds until we heard the door open. Then the two of us hopped back into our sheets and began to laugh hysterically. Here's the thing... My brother is a pretty big dude. And when big dudes laugh, they shake pretty violently. So the maid walks into the bedroom section of the hotel (yeah it was that nice) and saw my brother shaking like a meth tweaker and we literally heard her gasp.

"OK, I come back," she said as we heard her footsteps walk away and a door close. The maid was gone and all that was left were the two of us thrusting in our beds.

My brother and I then ripped the sheets back off our heads and filled the room with ridiculously loud laughter.

Then out of fucking nowhere, we heard the maid say from the bathroom "What's so funny?"

Posted in: Hotel,Maid