Sunday, August 21, 2011

Movie Cliches Have Ruined My Life

There are certain things that I can't do and things that I can't let other people do because I see these events unfold in movies and I'm always expecting it to have the same outcome. For example! Do not walk backwards into a street or I promise you I will shit my pantaloons. When someone walks backwards into a street, I fully expect a double-decker London bus to come slamming into them out of fucking nowhere.

Another example is I can never open my medicine cabinet, then close it without looking behind me. If I do this, I expect a murderous clown will appear behind me in the reflection wielding a bloody knife. Yeah, if I don't turn around that's exactly what will happen. But Jesus on a popsicle, I can't stop there. I have an endless list of shit that I've seen written into films so many times, I expect them to be an actual part of life.

I was bitterly disappointed when my first kiss wasn't met with a kick of the leg, but instead an awkward mess. I also expected every pregnant woman EVERYWHERE to have their water break when they were about to go into labor. Did you guys know that that rarely even happens? Goddamn you cinema for trashing society. Goddamn you.

31 clueless comments:

I watch lots of TV and am always disapointed when there is no audence laughter when I say a funny comment to a friend or family member!

I'm with you, cliches have conditioned me and when they don't live up I get disappointed.

I never look in mirrors, always look behind me when it's quiet, and I never swim in large bodies of water (Jaws!). I also travel with at least one black person on long trips so in case our car breaks down, monsters will attack her first. :X Is that wrong? Movies are so fucked up.

Propaganda mind fuck at it's finest!!

I'd like to point you to a website called "TV Tropes"

I was programmed to think all women were easy...

I think movie cliches are making you paranoid man!

Haha man that mirror thing scares me to no end at night.

i loled at the first kiss thing! soo true!

lol, reminds me of my first kiss.
ridiculously sloppy and daaaaamn was i drunk.

Someone already beat me to it but TV Tropes is a really comprehensive website for this topic.

well some of them are true :D

good stuff. What about the platitudes from the movie?

I also expect CPR and paddles to save everyone regardless of what injuries they have.

Dude... chill on the OCD. One thing i got tho, is that I except a piano or something drop on anywho who says "Everything is gonna be just fine"

I guess they could be bad.

I didn't know about the labor thing.

That's nice!

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Thanks, now i'm gonna be thinking of murderous clowns appearing when i'm in the bathroom.

ha, movie cliches ARE my life!

At least you're not paranoid about mirrors. I just can't turn my back against a mirror or close my eyes in front of it, I feel like they'll do something to me while I'm looking away.

lol at lord phrozen

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