Thursday, August 11, 2011

Sign Spinners

Lately I've been noticing an influx of sign spinners which is basically a mediocre, hourly job that can be found on any city's Craigslist classifieds. The job entails a person of no talent to take a large sign and guide people into a new business, new homes or anything that may be attractive to a gigantic arrow.

A couple of weeks ago, I was driving home from work and noticed that the road was blocked because of a three-car collision. Now, I'm not one to point fingers (or in this case, a giant arrow) but I firmly believe that the culprit behind the accident was a teenage kid, distracting traffic with his big ol' sign spinning skills that lured people into a fabulous new yoga joint.

What was even funnier was that as the cars were being pried away from each other, and the crunching of metal was screeching into the air, the kid was STILL standing on the corner spinning that sign. Hahahaha, kudos. But, what's even sadder than a person spinning a sign in 102 degree weather is watching someone spin a sign unenthusiastically in 102 degree weather.

If someone even had a FIBER of a thought to actually be persuaded into following the sign, then why would the determining factor be the eat-my-shit attitude excreting from the pores of some poor junkie. Those sign spinners need to OWN their craft and show those cars whose boss. No one likes a bummer. If I want to follow that sign, I'd better see some karate moves or some shit or break dancing and fantastical flame throwing while balancing on a midget's dick.

There is a guy I always pass who waves around a sign and I swear to God he does his job like he's the king of fucking England. He seriously believes the greatest business of all time is SELL YOUR GOLD NOW and dances with that sign 24/7 like it's his religion. God bless you, Chinese man selling gold. God bless you.

36 clueless comments:

If someone spins it so fast they become a human helicopter I'll follow them anywhere.

your post is full of laughs :)

i see these guys all the time too now! i like the enthusiastic ones, but i never take up their offers

I feel so bad for these kids haha... such a terribly boring job. Not to mention I see them out in the 100 degree+ weather all the time here.

That funny. but a car can make a teen do crazy stuff

Some men really put soul into their work. I am not one of them.

I almost got a job doing this ( in a liberty costume) a few years ago because I was desperate at the time. Hah. Screw that.

Some of those guys can freaking DANCE

Once I had some kids in a class of mine who LOVED to talk about spinning their signs. They did "tricks" like spinning them really fast would somehow draw attention to the business. Except... You cant exactly see the signs when they are spinning!

Some sign spinners are really good... so good you can't even read what the hell is on the sign.

I love the fact that essentially they're paid to stand around and do the job of a pole for that sign.

Yeah unenthusiasm ruins a lot of things like that. It's like they expect people to be attracted to their bored scowl and think "wow that kid looks really irate and pensive, maybe I'll read that sign to distract me from his face"

Seems like a job a wooden stake could do...

At least he has a job. :P

I would have to sell my gold to the Chinese man. If the show is good enough, i'll stop by.

just sell the chinese man some gold. Please, for the love of .

Or die in the adventure, be my helps, Following!

There's some pretty decent sign spinners out here.
@Freddie Mercury - lmao

Well if it earns them some money good for them.

I've seen this before for parking lots. I don't understand... if I want to park my car I'll get into the parking lot anyway, I don't need somebody to point to it. And if I don't need to park my car then I won't just suddenly decide to do it anyway because I see somebody pointing to it.

Seems like the worst job ever. D:

it's sad that I see more and more of these jobs all over. A young kid doing his first shitty job is one thing, an older person who needs to do that just to LIVE is way more depressing.

viva America.

I hear they have a bunch of moves they have to learn.

i see these guys all the time, and just think. How in the hell are you standing out in this weather when im dieing in the a/c? Doesn't make any sense. Maybe ill employ people to bring them water lol

My town is awash is spinners. Fav right now is the statute of liberty spinner. What a trip.

With that said, FOLLOWED ;)

I did that job for one month last year!

I worked at a pizza delivery place a while back and had to do this on slow days. It's the most degrading job in the world. I try to wave at them so they don't get too depressed.

Twirling signs is serious business. Don't knock it, butthole!


Reminds me of the flight of the conchords.

Wasn't there like a world championship or something like that some 2 months ago in sign spinning? Think I saw it on the news...

I used to wear a giant cell-phone costume. Got paid 9/hour. Pretty good considering all I did was pop in my headphones and jam to music, and scare little kids.

A job's a job, but this sort of stuff is definitely distracting.

There is a semi-celebrity status sign spinner where I live; he's basically the James Franco of sign spinning. Everyone wants him. Men want to be him, women want to be with him... sort of.

Really, every business has had him spinning signs at one point since he dances for like 6 hours a day. And he does it like he just doesn't care.

i got a sign spinner job its really not bad i make alright money take home over 400 a week (damn near as much as i did being a roofer) everyone here talks about the heat i worked outside my whole life
i much rather stand there spinning a sign. then hammering nails or on a roof

beggers on corners should be sign least they would be getting paid to hold a sign!!!!!!!!!

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