Tuesday Movie Review: Super 8

I know I usually do movie reviews on Mondays but I was busy yesterday, so shut up. I went to the the-ah-tarr with a buddy of mine to go see Super 8. We're big, big, big fans of Lost so of course we got excited that there was a promising monster movie written by one of the most original thinkers, J.J. Abrams, in Hollywood. NOPE. This movie kind of sucked and felt repetitive, almost like a children's prequel version to Cloverfield.

The movie stars four boys and a girl, all as awkward as the last but still kind of lazy child actors that may have been plucked off the deserted sets of Disney Channel's backlot studios. Anyway, the movie starts off with the four boys all making a monster movie and then they invite a girl to film with them (OMG SHE SAID YES) and they all gather at night in her Dad's stolen car to film by train tracks.

There's a fat kid... on the left.
And a skinny guy... on the right. THEY'RE BFFs.

Also they are very entertaining movie makers. I wanted so badly for an old 1920s, slick back Old Hollywood Producer to come up to the six of them acting like idiots and just take a puff of his cigar and say 'ya got talent kid'. Then proceed to just walk away with his hands rattling change in his pocket. Oh, and with a Jazz solo playing modestly in the background.

Back on topic, the kids make a movie and OMG a train crashes.

The movie then takes kind of a strange turn where the monster apparently fucking hates dogs? Dogs really hate this thing because when it step foot the dogs were like NOPE. They weren't having it, no sir they were not having it at all.

Then the monster starts to terrorize the town(cool jones over here) and he's just being a really big dick. Then it gets into a generic storyline where the guy who drove into the train was trying to FREE THE ALIEN SO HE CAN PHONE HOME.

So yeah, the monster beats up a bus and eats some army guys, then for some reason he falls in love with a water tower. Seriously, when he saw the water tower I think I heard some Barry Manilow playing. The monster has sex with the water tower pretty much and makes a nest beneath it but OOFAH, he's making a space ship because he's an alien!

The kids go in the water tower to save the dumb blonde girl that got kidnapped and the monster is about to chomp her head off then the little boy befriends him somehow? Where the hell did this alien get a heart of gold from? Why was he being such a dick earlier and now he's all puppy dog eyes. HAhaha, I really wish I could find a picture of the sad alien, it was kind of ridiculous.

So yeah alien flies away (haha what?) and he goes home I guess. The end.



Hahaha, it pretty much is Cloverfield, but with smaller people that run around and never get hurt and never cuss but the movie honestly wasn't that awful. It definitely kept me intrigued all the way through but it was just so silly. And fuck the theater for making me pay 12 dollars for LEATHER SEATS. They suck and made my ass sweat.

Posted in: Monster,Super 8,Tuesday Movie