My 9th Grade "Love Letter"

When I was in 9th grade I had a weird sense of humor. Scratch that... I had a fucking bizarre sense of humor which included a lot of sexually explicit, religious-themed jokes. Honestly when I look back at the shit I said, I think it's pretty goddamn hilarious. But today a friend of mine who I went to High School with forwarded me a picture of a joke love letter I wrote to her and as I read it, my jaw was on the floor. Why the hell did I come up with this?

"Dearest Karla,

My love for you is overwhelming. Besides squirrels, you're the only thing I dream about at night. Listen to me... I sound crazy over here! If I could somehow fit you into a burrito and microwave you then devour you, I so would. I'd love to have dinner with you. And you as the main course! yummm :P

I love your nasal voice and your wannabe ghetto style and that ASS!!! OH GOD. You just looked at my paper and said "I saw God." I don't know if you were talking about the paper or if you literally saw God. If so, how big is his cock? I heard it was huge!! I wish I could have a threesome with you, me and the virgin mary. Well, she won't be a virgin when we're done with her.

XOXO,

Leo"

Forgive me God... hahahahaha. Oh and I forgot to mention I wrote the letter on the back of a picture of a skull.

Posted in: God,Hell,Jokes