Wednesday, July 27, 2011

My Sexy Eye Doctor

Well, I went to the eye doctor yesterday and honestly I felt a little bit uncomfortable. Every time I go and see my optometrist, I always feel like he's coming onto me. Especially when he closes the door behind him and dims the lights. Sure, he has to dim them in order to get an effective reading of my retnas but why does he have to get so close to my face? Keep your distance Doctor Friendly...

Then as the session went on, I continuously thought of funny ways my 60 year old optometrist could have made advances at me. At the moment of dimming the lights, I imagined him clapping his hands seductively and a soft Jazz instrumental playing throughout the room.

Me: Uhh... why is there music playing?

Doctor: Hmm? Oh, I just thought it would lighten the mood a bit. Sit back, relax and just let me do all the work. Take off your pants if you'd like.

Me: What?

Doctor: Huh? Nothing.

Obviously that didn't happen but I still tried not to laugh under my breath as he started to edge closer to me, asking me mundane questions about how everything is going as far as school, work and life in general.

Doctor: So Leo, how's everything going?

Me: Pretty good I guess, I'm moving to San Antonio in about three weeks.

Doctor: Oh, that's nice and how's your mother?

Me: She's really good.

Doctor: That's good to hear, very good to hear and how is your butthole feeling lately?

Me: Excuse me?

Doctor: I said how is your father?

Me: Oh, he's fine.

Hahahahaha, I kept dishing out so many scenarios in my head that I couldn't even contain my laughter. It was obvious now that I was laughing and the doctor started to notice and asked me what was so funny. I ignored him and just shut my mouth.

Then he decided to give me the infamous eye exam. He clicked a button that showed several letters all lined up and asked me what I saw.

Doctor: Okay Leo, I'm going to show you a few images and I want you to tell me what you see.

Me: Okay.

Doctor: What do you see here?

Me: I see the letters Q, R, S, F, L, E and... I think that's an H?

Doctor: Great! Okay, next image. Now what do you see?

Me: Umm... Doctor, that's a picture of you in a leopard bikini.

Doctor: Heavens, how did that get in there! Haha, I apologize for that.

Then I left the room, laughing so hard my ribs hurt

18 clueless comments:

this happened for real??;o

Haha, that made me laugh pretty hard. Good read, following.

ahahahahah your doc is sick

Hahahaahah! LMAO. Nice time in doc I'd say!

hahahaha! that is hilarious..Ü

The highest rate of suicide is amongst dentists.

Nah, seriously though I often wonder if proctologists and optometrists suffer from the same stigma as prosthodontists in that they're not "real doctors," y'knowwhatImean?

That kinda shit sucks, especially considering how much time they spend studying and gaining experience within their specialties...

A good sense of humor is needed for any of 'em though, y'know? Oh God, SOOO many jokes I could crack if I were a butthole doctor...

lmao it's a rough life being sexy =P

Haha! Those hypothetical conversations were really funny.

That would be kind of amazing if that happened for real, as creepy as it would be, it would be awesome :D

sounds like areal creep to me. Sock him in the balls next time he makes you feel uncomfortable. He'll stop..

Hahaha I can honestly say that never comes to my mind.


My eye doctor is a hot, young, recently married woman. I WISH she would hit on me... :P

this made me think of the episode of louie when he gets put under by his dentist and he believes he is molesting him while he's a sleep. hilarious episode

thanks to post this information.they are best Optometrist.
and here is more info San Antonio optometrist

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