Monday, August 15, 2011

Why I love COPS



 Uhh... I should probably clarify. I don't necissarily LOVE cops, I love COPS the television show although I'm sure cops are really nice guys. Their mothers are lovely. Cops is probably the only reason I don't kill myself from boredom on weekday afternoons. Also, that right there should tell you the type of audience COPS is trying to entertain. People who are home at the middle of the day... let's see, that would be old people, unemployed drop outs, unemployed in general and of course babies! The advertising for the show says it all, it's a complete montage of Pampers, Depends and Rehab Facility commercials. Moving on!

Every person on this show has broken the law. Wanna know how I know? Here's a hint, if they didn't do anything illegal, then they wouldn't be on television. Who wants to see someone get pulled over then let off with a warning? No one. So when a cop pulls someone over on COPS the television show, don't ever have a shadow of a doubt that someone in that car is getting arrested. That's what makes the show so fun and that's when I play GUESS THAT CRIME.


GUESS THAT CRIME is a game I play with no one because nobody else I know understands the true comedy of COPS. I don't understand why this show isn't held in such high critical regards like that of Seinfeld or Arrested Development. When they announce the Emmys they should always announce COPS in the Outstanding Comedy Series category and Jimbo the toothless junkie as Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series.

Basically I try to guess what the person has done based on how nervous they are and how they react to certain questions. There is an entire ARRAY of factors that play into the game as well including race, neighborhood, assholery of the cop, whether not the perp has teeth, crossdressing and my FAVORITE: the fucking liars. If they look away after a question or act completely SURPRISED when a cop finds weed in their pocket, they are the lucky winner of the Daily Fucking Liar points. Congrats, you get a bonus question! It's an infinite process that goes on in my head and no one ever wins.

But my favorite episodes, absolute FUCKING FAVORITE all time episodes are the ones that are always in Las Vegas. Dear God, you know why I love Las Vegas episodes of COPS? Because shit like this happens.


Yup! Joy in my life. These criminals are a different brand of criminals, fuck they're a different species, just because they make a career out of crime and decide to not learn about anything else at all ever. Haha. Las Vegas criminals are like the caviar of the crime world. It's not not that they're classy, it's that they are so GREAT and you know what every Vegas criminal has? A black girl in the passenger seat with cocaine in her purse. I swear Vegas criminals get more black girls wet than Hurricane Katrina.

And good night! Also, some of you may notice I've changed my blog a bit. Be sure to like this on Facebook on the top right of the home page so all your other friends can get depressed.

22 clueless comments:

That is a great haircut!

Oh, man. I know exactly what you mean, I love COPS, too. I bet with a little bit of thought someone could come up with some COPS bingo cards. Like with things in the rows like "crack cocaine," or "stolen car," or "Trailer hillbilly" and whenever one of those things you mark it and spell bingo. That would be hilarious.

To compass such a boundless happiness! Following!

lol Arrested during haircut.

I love doing that too though. Making games out of TV shows that would otherwise not really be as interactively entertaining. Some people will just never understand... siigh....

I haven't seen that show in years! Your post brought back memories!
I might have to watch it again and try and figure out what they did by watching their reactions! Thank you!

I can't stand watching COPS. So brutal

The show is hilarious, I used to watch it all the time at late night

Nice review of COPS. I love this show too. It really should be considered a comedy series because it makes me laugh every time.

"Why are you sweating?" "I was watching COPS"... lol... great show and great blog! Follow +1

AHAHAHAHAHA middle of a haircut? What bad timing.

I love the fact that they turned the law into a reality show.

I don't get the show over here on t.v but i've seen a few good episodes online.

cops is always awesome because you get to visit/learn about other parts of the USA thats too far for you to actually want to visit and what states to stay away from

nice haircut! lol i like cops too!

I LOVE the show cops :3

and I've seen that article about the guy getting his hair done lol

you love cops??!!

i fukin hate em!!

oh you mean the show?

yeah thats pretty funny i guess...

This is lolzzzz .Looks like it is a nest of a bird.
Rofl

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