Monday, March 28, 2011

Monday Movie Review: Black Swan

So yeah, I saw Black Swan a while ago and for some reason, Natalie Portman's piercing eyes are still embedded into my head. The movie was good enough, made people in the audience talk and had a lot of symbolic meaning to it (i.e. good versus evil). Also Mila Kunis was balls deep in Natalie Portman's snatch which is also a good thing for the men of the audience who prefet to gawk at boobies then understand a meaning to a film.

So yeah, let's get started... Natalie Portman plays a girl named Nina who, for lack of a better word, is fucking weird. She behaves like a child for the first half of the movie, pushed to be a better dancer by her god-awful stage mom to become the prima ballerina for the production of a ballet held at the New York City Ballet. Also, apparently every ballerina is a stuck up bitch and when you reach a certain age, you are casted off kinda like Logan's Run. Wynona Rider was not happy.

So yeah, SHE'S a mess... As the movie progresses, Natalie Portman's character begins to have hallucinations, a nasty back scratching habit and clearly an eating disorder. She starts to see things like her mother's paintings talking to her and then she just turns into a swan and falls asleep. Uhh... Okay?

Nina gets the part as prima ballerina, has sex with Mila Kunis. On the night of the show, Nina messes up the dance momentarily then, Mila shows up to her dressing room and they just go ape shit on each other. Really, it gets pretty bad. Nina kills her ass with a broken shard of glass then drags her body into the next room and tries to cover it up with towels? hahahahha... Sure.

Next thing ya know, Mila Kunis is out prancing about and Nina doesn't know what to think. On the final scene, she takes her role a little too seriously and kills herself with the shard of glass from the dressing room. Thank God. Also when she dies she says "it was perfect"... Uhhh, no it wasn't. You messed up, remember?

I'm already excited for the sequel.

8 clueless comments:

I have the movie, I just haven't seen it yet. But I will now, I'm a huge fan of Mila and ballet.

I hear this movie has a 2.5 minute scene in it that no one would want to miss. Am I right?

Gonna have to wait until June for the DVD to come out here...really want to see this movie but missed it in theaters.

I still need to see this!! Sounds good though..

I've been meaning to see this! Gotta check it out.

Nice blog name by the way! :D

I tried to avoid this movie at all costs because it seemed to be a chick flick. But due to great reviews from everywhere, I guess I'll have to give it a look. I lol'd at "Mila Kunis was balls deep in Natalie Portman's snatch" by the way.

that movie was effin weird, man

I saw it. Wasn't as good as i expected. But it wasn't bad either. Thanks for sharing this review!

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