Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Why Snooki Polizzi is the Greatest Thing to Happen to America

6:02 PM  Clueless Dolphin  21 comments


Yes, I agree, Snooki is a disgusting, hairy little cave troll that slithered her way out of the grungy depths of the New Jersey sewers and somehow ended her journey in front of MTV's cameras for Jersey Shore. But her orange hue is not all bad! I will tell you why...
When people talk about Snooki or mention Snooki, what kind of reaction is received universally?

"Ew."

Yup, everyone feels just about the same when it comes to the walking cheeto puff. Her bloated face resembles a cabbage patch doll drenched in orange juice, then dunked inside of a tub of luke warm nacho cheese. So, what does the fact that everyone hates Snooki mean?

It means that we have all come together as a nation to have one common goal... Hate Snooki. If one day, aliens come to our planet and begin to vaporize every human of every country, the outcome will be obvious. When all of the leaders of the world see what is happening to all of the countries, we will come together as a united world and defeat the disgusting, green aliens.

Snooki is the alien invading our planet... So everyone pick up your pitchforks and track down the leopard print munchkin that hops and humps around the streets of New Jersey.

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21 clueless comments:

haha very nice! u are soo right about that!

that was freaking hilarious!

agreed! i tried watching jersey shore, and literally, i had nothing else to do with my time, so i turned it off, and just sat there. show is terrible

I've only seen about 5 minutes of one episode. She and some other disgusting Guido were yelling at each other. I completely agree with what you've posted. :D

Hmm.. I never really thought of it that way. I know that at my college, 95% of the people here I've talked to hate her... IT'S LIKE WE ARE ALL FAMILY NOW

can I throw blunt objects? Pitchforks aren't really my style.

"Yes, I agree, Snooki is a disgusting, hairy little cave troll"

First line had me lol'ing my ass off! 1+ follower!

haha, I though you were going to talk about her being great. I was glad when you didn't

Hahaha that actually made me laugh.
I know, and ive seen the show before many times too. Its scary haha. She reminds me of Miss Piggy...
as long as you watch the show, knowing its messed up and they're retarded then its entertaining.
But yeah shes definitely annoying as hell...

I've tried to watch the show, but it just doesn't hold my interest.

shes not only great for America

I love your description of her.
Jersey Shore is probably the worst piece of filth EVER put on TV.

Haha, I love the way you describe her

"Her bloated face resembles a cabbage patch doll drenched in orange juice, then dunked inside of a tub of luke warm nacho cheese. "

I could live in a world without Snooki.

Nice header in this post ...sexy girl :D

Quite a nice philosophy, sir. I applaud your awesomeness.

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