Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Worst Decade Ever?

Yeah sure, the 60s fueled the biggest drug explosion in the United States and yeah, the big crash in the 20s ruined millions of lives, with thousands dead but I have points on why 2000 - 2010 was probably the worst decade in American history and why our children will have second hand embarrassment just by reading about our dumb asses in their floating hover-desks reading their hologram text books.

2000 - The birth of Justin Beiber... 'nuff said.

2001 - The nation fell into a batshit crazy, gun-toting, patriotic fuck fest when the attacks of the World Trade Center killed over 3,000 New Yorkers. Everything else that followed was George Bush mouth raping the Constitution.

2002 - The birth of energy drinks brought heart attacks to a whole new generation! Enjoy slurping your neon glowing beverage that is currently molesting your small intestine.

2003 - Harem pants... Why?

2004 - The countless number of times I have embarrassed myself in elevators and restrooms from assholes who say "hello" out loud and expect you to NOT reply because you don't see the INVISIBLE FUCKING HEADSET THEY HAVE ON.

2005 - Hurricane Katrina ravaged probably the most magical/delightful city in the country. So I guess that's God's way of saying "Uhh... can you guys stop acting like idiots, or else I'm taking out Honolulu next..."

2006 - FOX cancellation of Arrested Development which was undoubtedly the most genius comedy that has ever been on television. But, hey thank god American Idol made it!

2007 - The year of the horse-faced, raspy voiced grandma in a little girl's body. Jesus Christ, how did people gobble this shit up and just accept her as their goddess? Hannah Montana is now a multi-million dollar franchise with dozens of 8 year olds running around with pink extensions and an undeserved sense of pride.

2008 - M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening" opened into theaters and was so bad that at least 25% of the audience contracted an STD from the movie. Some got herpes, some walked away easy with the clap, but some unfortunate souls sat through the entire thing and contracted full blown AIDS.

2009 - MTV's Jersey Shore premiered with exponential ratings, a devoted audience of friggin' fans and potentially dropped the Nation's IQ Average by 50 points. The 8 knuckle draggers showed off their meat stained six-packs and orange, fat asses to the world in hopes of receiving fame, and that they did.

Yup, fuck you 2000 - 2010, thanks for ruining my childhood.

11 clueless comments:

Bieber alone makes it the worst decade lol.

I like how you mention the 3,000 killed on 9/11, but fail to make any mention of the 5.4 million killed in Congo.

I'm pretty sure every decade people are gonna say its the worst lol

bieber makes this century suck

Harem Pants litereally made me lol.

Harem pants were the worst. I couldn't get my girlfriend away from them.

I don't know about everything else, but I love AD

Good blog post! And yea.. the nail has been hit on the proverbial head..

Bieber was not 12 years old......idiot

Harem Pants are not that bad. Take a look at these:

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