Friday, May 6, 2011

Music Festival Gurus


So, Summer is coming up and you know what that means! Festival Season! The annual gathering of the filthy, pig-smelling, acid-dropping, public-sex-having, absolutely-too-cool hipsters is eminent and I totally love every second of it. I live in Houston and so far the biggest festival we have is Summerfest and this is the third year our city has had it.

My brother volunteered to help set up stage and he had quite a few stories to tell me. He said that at orientation he met a lot of interesting people and a lot of lunatics but what stook out to me the most was his story about the "Festival Gurus". Haha, sounds ridiculous right? Right.

He said that there are certain people who have seniority in running festivals because they have been doing it for so many years and he said they take music festivals incredibly serious and they hate, absolutely HATE when it rains and people make mud slides. Seriously guys, stop doing that because the festival gurus will come get you. Moving on!

Anyways, he said that whenever big acts come to Houston, they bring their own stage managers so the festival gurus become errand runners which means they get to do all of the absurd things celebrities want. Here are a few they said.

Lil Wayne ordered the gurus to go to KFC and pick up 4 buckets of a dozen chicken legs. Unfortunately, KFC doesn't make this order so they had to call ahead of time and specially order it. Ha!

When Drake came to Houston, the gurus were ordered to go to the University of Houston and pick up a few sweaters (lolwut). When they came back and gave him every size and every type of sweater there was, Drake tipped them all $500. Weird!

When Jennifer Lopez came, she ordered the gurus to go into her dressing room and put M&M's in a dish. But wait! The gurus didn't get the specifics and J-Lo actually only wanted green M&M's. CALL LUCIFER, JESUS, MARY MAGDELUN, GOD AND AL ROKER BECAUSE JENNIFER LOPEZ DIDN'T GET HER GREEN M&M'S.... She literally wanted the gurus to be fired haha. So yeah, celebrities are EXACTLY what you think they are.



10 clueless comments:

The only festival I've been to is this one in Germany in a place called Wacken, and another more obscure one.

wow..........maybe green is her favorite color.

i want to parttttttteeeeeeeyyyy!

ew, I actually heard more things about miss JLO and how much of B*tch she is, exactly why I do not like her!

can't wait for summer festivals!

i love festivals, going to reading this year

Woot festivals are the best part of summer!

I hate Jlo that B"#4tch is such a primadonna and i simply hate it.

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