Monday Movie Review: Insidious

Look guys, I'm reviewing a movie that is actually current and relevant! Yeah, I had enough money to actually go to the movies this weekend, HIP-HIP, HOORAY! HIP-HIP HOORAY! HIP-HIP... Moving on!

So, I saw Insidious this weekend and what a doozie this was. I hate it whenever I have to review movies that are actually GOOD because then it's hard to find things to make fun of, but fear not, there is always something to be made fun of.

So, basically this movie is a commemoration of Poltergeist and it does a really good job in giving credit where credit is due (duh) but also choosing a good route and scaring the shit out of the audience. A little boy (forgot his name; not important) hits his head one day and NEVER WAKES UP. Hahahahha, first I thought this was pretty lame but it just so turns out that he's a "traveler" which means that his soul leaves his body when he goes to sleep at night and he doesn't realize that he is in real danger in his dreams so he just goes ape shit.

Also, I need to take a minute to talk about Rose Byrne... Ah, Rose Byrne. I'm an enormous fan of the FX show Damages and I absolutely love when Rose Byrne gets movie roles (even though most of them are shitty) but she's actually decent in this one! Normally, she lets her beautiful eyes do all the acting for her and this isn't very different. Rose is so beautiful that she doesn't have to have that much talent but just have the ability to memorize lines and blink her pretty eyes. She's this generations' Nicole Kidman. Seriously guys, I'd like to see her in more horror movies. Call Hollywood!

So yeah, back to the kid in a coma. Rose Byrne keeps seeing some freaky shit like a little dead boy from the great depression that likes to tap dance in her living room to old show tunes. I know it doesn't sound creepy but Jesus Christ, this terrified me.

Other ghosts appear in the house and it just so happens that they are appearing because they all want a piece of the little boy. They want to LIVE AGAIN.
The family moves (they think it's the house LOL) and the father doesn't really believe what's going on... Then this happens.

I literally grabbed my pop corn and said NOPE. This scared the shit out of everybody hahaha, it was hilarious

So who does Rose Byrne call? That's right... Ghost Busters. I'm only kind of joking. Rose calls this lady with a big nose because she's an expert on like everything and blah blah blah she's basically the midget lady from Poltergeist.

So yeah, the old lady with the big nose says that her child is stuck in "The Further". Hahaha, I literally busted out laughing when she said this. "The Further" is both unscary and just a lazy, grammaticaly incorrect name for a place.

The Further, Population: THIS GUY

Aaaahhhhhh! I take it back, The Further is a scary place! So yeah, the father turns out to be a "traveler" too! Oh man, so the dad goes nappy time and saves his kid and all is well. I won't ruin the ending for you guys but yeah, I suggest you all see this movie. Made me poo my panties.

Posted in: Insidious,Movie Review