So Easter Sunday is approaching, the day where Jesus rose from the dead and feasted upon the brains of the innocent and a lot of people are doing their bi-yearly routine of attending church. I'm not calling these people hypocrites or anything, but they're probably the same kind of people that only visit their parents in retirement homes once a year. Moving on!
More average than not, a lot more people attend church on Easter than they would regularly besides Christmas Eve sermon. So, here's an essential guide on what NOT to do when you go to church on the 24th, for those of you who are not used to the church customs (lol, I am not).
- Do not attend church dressed as the Easter bunny. I know you may think this is appropriate attire for the day and all, but I assure you that it is in fact frowned upon. Especially when you try to fit into the confessional booth with those big flappy ears in the way.
- Do not hide easter eggs in the pews. I repeat, do NOT hide easter eggs in the pews for the sole fact that people will just sit on them and make a big ol' hissy fit about how their big fat, christian asses broke a plastic egg.
- When it's time to approach the preist to "eat the body of christ" and "drink the blood of christ" (lolwut), do not hop toward him like a bunny and then nibble on the piece of bread like a bunny rabbit. I assure you, they will get pissed.
More average than not, a lot more people attend church on Easter than they would regularly besides Christmas Eve sermon. So, here's an essential guide on what NOT to do when you go to church on the 24th, for those of you who are not used to the church customs (lol, I am not).
- Do not attend church dressed as the Easter bunny. I know you may think this is appropriate attire for the day and all, but I assure you that it is in fact frowned upon. Especially when you try to fit into the confessional booth with those big flappy ears in the way.
- Do not hide easter eggs in the pews. I repeat, do NOT hide easter eggs in the pews for the sole fact that people will just sit on them and make a big ol' hissy fit about how their big fat, christian asses broke a plastic egg.
- When it's time to approach the preist to "eat the body of christ" and "drink the blood of christ" (lolwut), do not hop toward him like a bunny and then nibble on the piece of bread like a bunny rabbit. I assure you, they will get pissed.
