So the only thing that makes my job tolerable is the girl that sits in the cube beside me. For obvious reasons, I'm not going to use her real name so I will only refer to her as Tootsy. I say Tootsy because I'm eating a tootsie roll right now and it is scrum-diddly-umptious. Awh yeah, I Ned Flanderized that shit. Moving on!
Tootsy is a black 30 year old girl that does other mundain tasks like myself but happens to have a really 'Def Comedy Jam' sense of humor. We often send e-mails back and forth at our desks, sharing our 'what if' scenarios.
'What if' scenarios are basically events we make up and that we think would be funny. The office we work at has a lot of upper class, conservative white employees so most of our scenarios are absurd things that ghetto people would do. Here are a few recent ones we have thought up.
- What if we go to Karen's going away party upstairs and I busted the door down with my foot and yelled 'WHERE DA WHITE WOMEN AT'.
- What if I sat my ass up on the copy machine, made a bunch of scans and distributed them across the office professionaly in a bunch of manilla envelopes.
- What if we just started fighting in the break room.
- What if I waited in the elevator and when people came in, I'd start barking at them like DMX.
- What if I drew the wu tang symbol on the bottom corner of this copy that has to go out to corporate.
(For this comment, you need to know we were at a restaraunt for the office holiday party)
- What if I came in wearing a festive thong and rolled onto the table where everyone was eating, then dipped my junk into the salsa.
