Lately I've been noticing an influx of sign spinners which is basically a mediocre, hourly job that can be found on any city's Craigslist classifieds. The job entails a person of no talent to take a large sign and guide people into a new business, new homes or anything that may be attractive to a gigantic arrow.
A couple of weeks ago, I was driving home from work and noticed that the road was blocked because of a three-car collision. Now, I'm not one to point fingers (or in this case, a giant arrow) but I firmly believe that the culprit behind the accident was a teenage kid, distracting traffic with his big ol' sign spinning skills that lured people into a fabulous new yoga joint.
What was even funnier was that as the cars were being pried away from each other, and the crunching of metal was screeching into the air, the kid was STILL standing on the corner spinning that sign. Hahahaha, kudos. But, what's even sadder than a person spinning a sign in 102 degree weather is watching someone spin a sign unenthusiastically in 102 degree weather.
If someone even had a FIBER of a thought to actually be persuaded into following the sign, then why would the determining factor be the eat-my-shit attitude excreting from the pores of some poor junkie. Those sign spinners need to OWN their craft and show those cars whose boss. No one likes a bummer. If I want to follow that sign, I'd better see some karate moves or some shit or break dancing and fantastical flame throwing while balancing on a midget's dick.
There is a guy I always pass who waves around a sign and I swear to God he does his job like he's the king of fucking England. He seriously believes the greatest business of all time is SELL YOUR GOLD NOW and dances with that sign 24/7 like it's his religion. God bless you, Chinese man selling gold. God bless you.
