The Bottom 5 Billboard Songs: Reviewed

So what does it take to have a hit song but to have the worst performing hit song? Let's see! I should probably mention beforehand that I have never heard one of these songs and am blindly diving into the trenches of popular music head first, hoping that I am able to come up for a breath without suffocating in the over-produced nonsense. So I suggest you watch the video first before reading my reviews. The bottom 5 billboard songs off the Billboard 100 go as follows:


96. From A Table Away - Sunny Sweeney



Awh! Poor blonde lady with a cross stitched to her jacket got cheated on! But wait... Oh, I guess she's singing about a girl getting cheated on since she's not in the video. But this girl is going to what looks like a birthday party and sees her "boyfriend" with his wife.. ohhhhh shiiiiii- and he never notices her? Also I think it's hilarious how she's clearly disinterested in her friend's birthday celebration and no one gives a shit. Hahahaha.

97. Fuck Him He's A DJ - Ke$ha (lol)



Well folks, it doesn't get classier than this. I'm a young girl and I don't know what to do as a naive and impressionable absorber of the outside world... Blonde girl on tv, what should I do?

...Go fuck people to become liked. Yay! (barf)

98. Shake Me Down - Cage The Elephant



Refreshing! I've actually listened to some cage the elephant in the past and I believe this is on the bottom not because it's a rejected popular song but because it's a good alternative song that barely made it on the list.

99. Homeboy - Eric Church



"Now here you are runnin these dirty ol streets, tattoo on your neck, fake gold on your teeth." Okay, first of all WHAT? What kind of country hick is running the streets of alabama with golden teeth? I didn't know flavor flav had such affluence in the meth-fueled trailer parks of South Carolina.


100. Boyfriend - Big Time Rush



OH BOY HERE WE GO... Big Time Rush is another evil nickelodeon manufactured zombie and also Snoop Dogg... What the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with all of old hip hop? I'm kind of glad Biggie is dead because his big ass is probably rolling in his grave right now but if he were alive he would probably be cashing out on the exact same things you and ice cube and other assholes who refuse to use their original creative outlet but instead show their skills to family friendly tv shows are.

FUCK BITCHES GET MONEY AND oh... watch hannah montana.

Posted in: Music,Terrible