Shit Devin Says: Awkward Silences

As I've posted before, Devin is a very awkward, very round and an accidental expert on comedic timing that sits beside me in Calculus. Today we only had to pop in for fifteen minutes to do attendance then we would leave because the school is being shut down for renovations and blah blah blah money, money, money...

Anyways, today everyone walked in groggy and Devin looked around like a curious bird stuck in a puddle of molasses in January. (Wow, sorry... I've been watching too many episodes of Gold Rush.)

So yeah, Devin finally opens his mouth to speak. The best way I can explain Devin's voice would be a Vagina-Soaker. In that, I mean his voice dries up vaginas in a five mile radius. Moving on! (I am Leo.)

Devin looks around the room

Devin: Geeze, did someone die in here!

Leo: Hahahaha, what?

Devin: It's so quiet and everyone is like this (Devin shrugs his shoulders and crosses his eyes).

Leo: I think the phrase you meant is 'who died'. Not 'did someone die in here', hahaha... That makes no sense, Devin.

Devin throws his hands into the air like a diva

Devin: Ugh, whatever.. You people know what I mean!

Leo: Did you get a hair cut?

Devin: Huh? No.

Leo: Cause it looks like you got a hair cut, Devin.

Devin: I didn't trim my stubbles! My hair is the same length as before, it didn't magically grow over night.

Leo: Okay, how about your sister. Did she get a hair cut?

Devin: Well, yes she did. She looks silly now.

Leo: Does she look like Sinead O'Connor in that one video.

Devin: Excuse me!

Leo: You're excused.

Devin: I never understood that.

Leo: Never understood what?

Devin: I never understood why people say 'excuse me' or 'pardon me' when they're offended. It's such a polite way of saying 'hey man you are rude'.

Leo: Hahaha, Devin... That was shockingly coherent.

Devin: DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY NEW IPHONE?

Leo: Eh, sure

And then Devin proceeded to show me pictures of his sister's hair.

Posted in: Awkward Silences,Devin