Thursday, April 14, 2011

What Not To Do At Church On Easter

So Easter Sunday is approaching, the day where Jesus rose from the dead and feasted upon the brains of the innocent and a lot of people are doing their bi-yearly routine of attending church. I'm not calling these people hypocrites or anything, but they're probably the same kind of people that only visit their parents in retirement homes once a year. Moving on!

More average than not, a lot more people attend church on Easter than they would regularly besides Christmas Eve sermon. So, here's an essential guide on what NOT to do when you go to church on the 24th, for those of you who are not used to the church customs (lol, I am not).


- Do not attend church dressed as the Easter bunny. I know you may think this is appropriate attire for the day and all, but I assure you that it is in fact frowned upon. Especially when you try to fit into the confessional booth with those big flappy ears in the way.


- Do not hide easter eggs in the pews. I repeat, do NOT hide easter eggs in the pews for the sole fact that people will just sit on them and make a big ol' hissy fit about how their big fat, christian asses broke a plastic egg.


- When it's time to approach the preist to "eat the body of christ" and "drink the blood of christ" (lolwut), do not hop toward him like a bunny and then nibble on the piece of bread like a bunny rabbit. I assure you, they will get pissed.



15 clueless comments:

Furrys in church? That would be interesting/rageworthy to see....

haha id love to see someone do this for real!

haha nice! This would be awesome to watch!!

lolol this made me laugh. I'll make sure i follow these guidelines when I head to church on easter

YES PRIEST PUT HIS BODY IN MY MOUTH MMMMMM

These may result in people getting pissed, but it would sure be funny.

There was literally a guy outside of Mcdonalds the other day with that same exact rabbit suit.

u gotta remember a lot of those people are guilted into going by family members lol

Hahaha nice post. I actually wonder how the Church people would react to those things. Was this post just telling us to try these things by any chance?

oh god, church folk are crazy

I go to church twice a year because it is my belief that I don't have to go to church in order to have faith in Christ. I do worship on my own time and give to charity and good deeds. Just because I don't go to church regularly does not mean I am a hypocrite. I do not like being preached at and the way in which some congregations act so close minded is just disgraceful /rant

Totally dressing as the easter bunny

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