Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Human Fascination With Oprah Winfrey

10:28 AM  Clueless Dolphin  16 comments


Yup, I admit I have fallen into a disgusting fascination with the billionaire wildebeest the public so affectionately calls Oprah. Since this year started, I have seen her face on more magazines, blogs, and gossip sites than Lindsay Lohan's snatch. I eventually realized that her big fat, rich ass has been plastered everywhere because this is her FAREWELL SEASON! Jesus' big fat balls, call the press and alert the president... IT'S OPRAH'S FAREWELL SEASON GODDAMMIT.




So I fell into a deep following of everything Oprah does and all of her charitable contributions, generous (and outrageous) giveaways and the characature she so flawlessly flaunts on her show which is one that elongates EEVVERRYYYYY SINGLEEEE SYLABLEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That lady really likes to stretch her words out when she's excited... Seriously, sometimes I feel like she's slipping into an impression of Helen Keller.

Anyway, there are a few things I want to point out about the money swallowing warthog that has captivated the hearts of so many bored housewives. For one, how about her audience... I have realized from the audience she collects during her shows that the obvious viewership is an abundance of home-makers that are folding laundry and crying into their laundry baskets while eating off-brand cereal and trying to fold their newly born baby's diapers. So yeah, that's what goes on behind the television of The Oprah Winfey show... A cavalcade of shit, cheap cereal and tears.




Also, for some reason Oprah has become an advocate for texting and driving? Hahaha... Okay, what? Seriously, she is the most powerful woman... no PERSON in the entire universe including God and she decides to pick up the cause of texting and driving? It's a good thing to focus on but why the hell is she putting so much effort and time into it? This seems like a stupid program that Michelle Obama would do, not Oprah Winfrey, the coin hoarding beast from the trenches of Alabama. She could easily end world hunger... EASILY with one paycheck she receives in the mail, she could change the world but instead she wants to waste her big ass time on making sure teenagers don't die. NEWSFLASH: those teenagers deserve to die.

So what exactly is the public's fascination with Oprah?


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16 clueless comments:

Her weight problem FAT moderately skinny UBBER FAT UBBER SKINNY Fat again and so on and so on.

Even though she may do some good things with her money, you have to take it with a grain of salt. the percent of her income that she spends on charities could be just about the same as anyone else's.
It's not Oprah i despise, but It's the people who worship the ground she walks on and compare her to Maya Angelou. Although i do wonder if she's one of those Bilderbergs

Well, she should give at least 50% of her money to charity and then i be fine with her until then i see her as a greedy person.

intresting blog... Following.

This is very nice post with very useful info, nice ;)

thanks god oprah's snatch is not appearing anywhere.
+followed

I don't think she should have to give away any of her money to charity if she doesn't want to unless all people with that amount are forced aswell

i love oprah. i wanna win a car

EVERYONE THAT COMMENTED ON THIS BLOG GETS A HUMPBACK WHALE! YOU WANT A HUMPBACK WHALE?! WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU A HUMPBACK WHALE!

IT'S OPHRAHHHHHHHH

Haha,
"Since this year started, I have seen her face on more magazines, blogs, and gossip sites than Lindsay Lohan's snatch."
I lol'd

man oprah.... people love her and they don't even realize that she is just using human emotions to make billions. People love her for her charity which is great but when you have a million dollars giving away a hundred thousand is much easier than if you have 1000 dollars and give away 100.

Its like a compounding affect or something, by being popular that popular you can only get more popular
How to Hack Life.

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